Single - Alone?

Being single is getting more and more popular in our society. When living alone, a person is free, independent, we may do whatever we want, we don’t rely on anybody. Yet is this really our utmost desire or does it lead to feeling lonesome and lost?
What do we really want deep inside our hearts? Are we not rather longing for being together with somebody, longing for protection and being cared for. Yet does that still fit within the ideas of modern society?

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. (Genesis 2, 18)

This passage is from the first book of the Bible, Genesis, where we read how God created the world. When looking at the animals we find there those that prefer living in groups like the ants or a pack of wolves. They feel comfortable like this. Other animals like some kinds of cats prefer staying alone.

We humans are created for life in groups. We are not made to spend our times as eremites. A child need the loving care of another living being in order to be able to survive at all. Even the children in the streets have the desire to gather together in gangs.

Yet what about life as a single? This is nowadays so much promoted in the media. It is a wrong way!

When being in a group on the one hand I experience protection and comfort, yet on the other hand by the time I also have to take over responsibility over other people. I cannot continue doing whatever I want to and fading away in any temporary desires. I have to care for the others, I have to be respectful and I have to honour the dignity of the others. I cannot give priority to my personal egoism. There is a perfect receipt for functioning life in a group: Love – the more I am willing to give to others the more I will receive back.

I need not be worried to give up any parts of my personal freedom. On the contrary, the more love I spread out to other people, the more I am willing to take over responsibility, the more I get liberated from all kinds of chains and passions that permanently try to grab at me.

Yet some of you might argue: All right, it sounds nice that we humans should not be alone. But I cannot find anybody that fits with me. I am living alone, and nowhere on the wide horizon can I figure out any partner for me. What shall I do?

We clearly have to face the facts. Yes, there are people that have not yet found any suitable partner. Yet even when not having any specific partner, this is no reason to remain alone.

In his farewell discussions Jesus said the following to his disciples:

And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Comforter, who will be with you for ever, the Spirit of truth. The world cannot receive him; because the world neither sees him nor knows him: but you know him; because he dwells with you, and is in you. (John 14, 16 – 17)

This means that if we want to, Jesus will be with us. Then we will definitely not be alone. Concerning this life with Jesus you may find further information here.

Yet one more thing is very important. I have to do the first step. When I remain sitting in my room in front of my computer, when lamenting how lonely I feel, then this does not help me at all.

  • I have to ask Jesus. Then he will come to me, and I will no longer be alone.
  • I have to go to other people and help them, then my love for others will bring me joy and friends.
  • I have to seek fellowship, and I have to integrate into a group, and I must not lament that anyhow nobody wants me.

Have courage! Make the first step. In the internet you may find almost everything, you may also find the address of a Christian fellowship or church near the place where you live. Send an E-mail to them or ring them, introduce yourself and ask for a discussion group with other people of your age or your interests. Christians are open for new ones.

You will be amazed how many doors Jesus may open. Jesus says:

Behold, I stand at the door and knock: if anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in, and sit down to eat with him, and he with me. (Revelation 3, 10)

Open the door of your heart to Jesus, and you will never in your life have to eat alone any longer.